20 things that make me smile.

20 (Mostly stupid) things that makes me smile:

*Note: Entries not in order. *

1. Whenever I manage to catch something. Like, anything. Forex, when my brother chucks me my share of yakult out of the pack. Oooh I like that. I have slippy hands.
2. When my " deleted items" folder shows a total collection of 69 unread items.
3. When some freak accident (e.g. earthquake tremors not even worthy to be read on the richter scale ) occurs in Singapore, and newspapers reveal "true life accounts" of stupid-arse people saying how "I felt my life was in danger" or "I rushed out of the shower while bathing because I thought the building was going to collapse".
4. When my mom buys goodies back, like barbecued pork (bak kua) and Langues de Chat - hoo baby.
5. Whenever Kimi wins.
6. Whenever a song I like comes on the radio and I'm bopping along.
7. Whenever I see a heneiken ad. I reeally like their ads. And that Stella Artois ad. I love the shifty look in the son's eyes and that furtive gestures implicating the pastor.
8. Whenever footy players grab each other's crotches while jumping in mid air to catch the rugby ball. (go all blacks!)
9. Whenever I see some chinese restaurant / name with sexual connotations. (I.e.: "fuk mee", "fook", "Seck's") Yes, I am that sad.
10. Whenever people who are driving me (taxi drivers, mom, friends) swearing while trying risky manouevers. (*basket! 700! try to cut me you #%@! piece of s**t go and fly kite buay hiao huah qia - siam lah!) and for the english speaking (shit-you-you-bloody-assO-muthaf***ingcocksucka-etc.) hehe. funny.
11. Seeing ugly people get married to each other. In the most tasteless wedding gear ever imagined possible.
12. Watching people run for the bus. *Run! Forrest! Run!* Now that's just funny when it's not happening to me. I swear those bus drivers do it on purpose.
13. When babies fall down and cry. Its that look of outrage that the floor tripped them up that flashes on their faces before the hurt sets in and they screw up their faes to cry. Priceless.
14. When I'm getting reprimanded for a wrong I committed and I think up a brilliantly childish and insanely stupid retort that I can't use.
15. Whenever I try to speak chinese or hokkien dialect. I'm a banana - I have no chinese roots left. And during CNY when relatives try to talk to me in their respective languages -shitfuck i sound awful.
16. Whenever my stupid dog (I must blog about my dog one day. he's so stupid) comes begging for attention or food. He looks so desperate.
17. Whenever I watch Lethal Weapon 4 and uncle benny says that immortal line "Flied lice, you plick." Cracks me up, ole' uncle benny.
18. Watching old "hero" movies. Forex, Steven Seagal movies where he can always karate chop the evil dude who always seems to be bald (my suspicion is that it's to highlight the fact that Segal's got a head of hair on, despite the fact that it's thinning heavily.) And of course, don't forget Segal's voice (According to a friend, it's a "fag-voice"). I just think he sounds like Michael Jackson. "i love you all "
19. Saying certain words. Forex, "MOJO JOJO!" it's the kind of word that demands passion and anger in your tone. And "Fuchsia". I know how its pronounced. But I can't help the inane urge to say "fuck-sia". Perhaps that's just me. Oh, and how people living in Singapore / Malaysia insist on pronouncing bananas as "bah-nah-nas". hurhurhur.
20. When I find something funny.